Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Epic adventures and the Titanic

Hi all. I haven’t written in a long time. It seems that I am not that good at focusing on writing for my blog. Sure, I had the intention to share all kinds of neat ideas and intriguing quotes from articles that I have recently read, but actually taking the effort to pause my sometimes chaotic life to do so is a struggle for me. Lately, I’ve been pre-occupied with figuring out how to move on from my 12 years of mastering all things Aspergers. I’ve finally gathered the courage and momentum to move across the country, Yay! This was a difficult decision for me because being a stay-at-home mom for the past 11 years has left me with no real work/job/employment experience, but a ton of SAHM skills: house hold chores, listing things-to-do, prioritizing errands, becoming and expert at planning playdates, organizing kid’s toys, volunteering at kids’ schools, arranging yard sales, and all other general activities involved in mothering and taking care of a home. Getting my master’s degree in counseling was probably a way for me to connect my life experience with my professional aspirations, though now I feel like I cheated myself out of an opportunity to really explore what I’m truly passionate about. By the way, I am still trying to figure that out. Seeing as though my children are very imaginative, Max and Marty both enjoy creative writing and are surprisingly very good at it, I might need to take this cue and return to my roots in art. Oh well, time will tell. I’ve also become increasingly interested in new age spirituality and law of attraction stuff; perhaps this will lead me to some new discoveries about myself. Ode to self-awareness, there’s nothing like realizing how you eff-d-up (excuse my French) your own life or supposedly created all the bull crap that brought you to this point of disillusionment. I digress. Besides, everything happens for a reason. Which leads me to my latest update on my precious precocious little Marty.

My husky voiced Marty is now approaching 2nd grade. He’s smart, articulate, creative, and very stubborn. Did I mention he was extremely stubborn? But I think it goes along with the Asperger territory. The whole theory of being inflexible, black or white no grey area, and a little oppositional sprinkled with OCD. Marty has taken a strong interest in being perceived as “funny”. He spends hours watching funny Minecraft inspired videos. And, most of the time, when he tries, he is really funny at delivering lines from his You-tube video repertoire. Yet sometimes, he’s very inappropriate. Most importantly, he is aware that he has trouble making friends and some of his interests are a little off-putting…like the “Titanic”. Yes, Marty is now a bonafide Titanic freak. To mommy’s disappointment Thomas the Train is a thing of the past [Insert sad face here :(]. Yet, he insists that he is still into model trains. Thank goodness because Mommy has truly enjoyed buying trains and participating in train track configuring.

So the exposure to the RMS Titanic came from Marty’s father. He has been obsessed with the Titanic since James Cameron blessed us with the movie. He introduced Marty to Titanic inspired board games and enjoys listening to the movie or the movie soundtrack in the background while they play the board game. Thus, Marty has memorized the theme song…near far wherever you are. I my humble opinion, he knows way too much about Jack and Rose (the main characters). He said to me one day after drawing a picture of the Titanic and its famous smoke stacks, “I think me and dad are the only ones interested in the Titanic.” That doesn’t stop his fervor for all things Titanic; at least he has enough sense not to bring it up around his neurotypical friends. Sure he might proudly show them the mini plastic motorized version of the Titanic, but conversing about the various details of the ship usually bores typical 7 and 8 year olds, so Marty skips all that technical stuff. I happen to like the movie Titanic, and I have researched enough about the actual ship to know some really special facts that Marty finds quite amusing; like, the company that owned the Titanic had a practice of naming all their ships with a name ending in ‘IC’ – fascinating?  

I know many parents would be appalled by their child’s interest in a historical tragedy that claimed the lives of thousands, but I understand that Marty only sees the ship as the object of his admiration. Somehow, he can’t or doesn’t associate the ship with the tragic loss of life. Although he does have empathy, he can’t seem to relate it to this incident perhaps because it happened so long ago. I think his mechanical mind is fascinated about the details involved in the ship’s sinking. Marty’s preoccupation with how the Titanic met its demise at the hands of an iceberg is a little on the morbid side for me, but I try to answer all his question with a straight face. I even helped him construct a large cardboard model of the Titanic all so Marty could use it to reenact the scene where the Titanic hits the iceberg [an iceberg he designed out of aluminum foil and packaging tape]. Why Marty thought it was a good idea to tape Lego men to the poop deck is beyond me. I think some children with Aspergers have a keen interest in figuring out how things crash. Marty still enjoys seeing his trains collide and run off the track. His father shared a story about how when he was a boy he had an interest in the spaceship Challenge. He even described in detail how he reenacted the explosion with fireworks tired to a plastic spaceship. To which I replied “thanks for sharing.” I mean who am I to judge?

To conclude, lately my life has been trying to figure out what I need to do, professionally and financially, to support two challenging young boys, entertaining said boys during the hot summer, and planning my epic move to the southwest. I’d love any feedback from readers as this is a pivotal point in my life and I want either some encouragement or advice on how to move forward with life as a single mom with two kiddos. I’ve always been a positive and optimistic person so I am approaching this new life with lots of hope and motivation, though I must admit that I am a teeny bit scared of the unknown. So far I have convinced myself that I am happily content…my threshold for happiness has been lowered and I’ve learned to appreciate and admire the simpler things in life. I see my life as Marty’s and Max’s mom as predestined, and I notice the serendipity in my life experiences. Everything does happen for a reason. I’m learning to create a better version of myself, a better lifestyle for my family, and a sense of purposely fulfilling and seeking happiness in my life. All is well. :)